Saturday, January 29, 2011


If, in future I am not mistaken, yesterday has got to have been one of the most hilariously funny days of my life.

I have/had this friend, let's call her SB (spoiled bratt). Judging by her nickname you have probably figured out that this person is not a very nice character to be around, unless you like kissing self-centered, blind bitches' asses.

Anyway, we've had a whole history of fighting because she doesn't give a damn about anyone else but herself,  (a real meanie) and my grade knows it. Let's just say SB isn't the most popular soul in our grade, in fact, most of them hate her... She's just to blind to see it.

So, on a perfectly ordinary day, (yesterday) SB was being her imperfectly annoying self, and for some reason, when we were in Maths class (the joy of my life) a few people started telling SB exactly where to get off... And it was not pretty to hear, let me tell you. They were staying stuff such as "You don't care about her (me), you're just using her (again, me). And "You're such a bad friend" and so on. So of course, SB does the one thing she's been renowned to do - although none of us actually expected it. She stood up, called them F***en  bitches and stormed out the classroom. How nice.

I'm sure she didn't get the reaction she was looking for though, as we all basically fell over laughing. Somebody screamed: "HOOORRRRN!".... Well, you got me there, i have no clue why they did it, but that made us split our sides from laughing so much.

(A note for those of the Dim variety: there was no teacher in the class in case you didn't figure that one out.)

Now, actually, it's at times like these that I find the need to question what exactly goes through people like SB's minds, that suddenly give them the right to call people very meanie names and storm out the class. You aren't helping yourself very much, let me tell you. People actually hate her even more now... And those few weeds that think the sun shines out of her ass are just as wet and dim as she is.

I haven't seen SB since then, we couldn't find her at break, hopefully she'd gotten back into her chariot and rode to Greece or somewhere far.. far away from here. Meh, what are the odds? We'll probably see her first thing tomorrow and she'll burst into tears and tell us that everyone hates her and how hard her life is. Ooi, she is one of the key ingredients to a "burn" in your life.

Ahh, well, at least we got a show yesterday... And i'd just like to add that i LOVE my class.


Friday, January 28, 2011

In Other News...

Let’s Catch Up:

I am still sick! I am starting to feel like a psychotic Zombie…
(Question: What’s the difference between a psychotic zombie and a normal zombie? I have no clue, all I know is I feel like a psychotic one.)

I am still “jelly legging” about the Valentine’s Day Ball. (Read previous post if you don’t know what in the name of Chris Brown’s socks I’m talking about.)

Things I Found Interesting This Week (Jokes Aside)
My (dad’s) personal trainer at the gym I go to , was on Carte Blanche this week. I’m not sure if Carte Blanche is shown to the rest of the world but it is quite a popular TV News Series in South Africa. It basically “unveils” the truth about everything and all that Jazz.

It is funny how false the media can actually be, I’ve just experienced it first-hand.
 Some chick allegedly “injured her spine” and is blaming it on the faulty gym equipment. (anything for a good story eh?) They talk to the personal trainer (who happens to also be my dad’s PT) to hear his side of the story, and then they slam him and the gym he works at as well as the manager and CEO. I (obviously) know this guy personally, and I know he is not an idiot, and he wouldn’t do or say any of the things that they made him sound like he said. So unfair, and people actually believe this Bullsnazz!

The comments that are coming through, “He is a liar” and “How can you do this” and “Poor you! Hope your spine gets better soon, those gym guys are such idiots” and… geez. One word I can use to describe this documentary is “Bias”. So now I have been bias in this post. From now on, I know I will sure as hell not believe everything I see in the Media quite so easily. It’s me against the media from now on. Who’d ever like to join me is welcome. (sniff)

Ok, NOW here’s for the jokes (literally):

I felt really down after seeing that Carte Blanche episode, so here is one of my favorite jokes to lighten up the mood. J

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday. 

If you still wanna see something funny, read my previous post already!! I don't have time to make valid journalistic points as well as cater for entertainment EVERY post.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Oooh the stress! Where's my lip gloss?... Eep! Jelly Legs

Don’t know whether to feel nervous, excited or sick, so I shall just settle for “jelly legs”. In case you have never experienced the “jelly legs” emotion, it is when you are so hyped about something your legs feel like they will never work again… this can also occur after a nice set of lunges around the track at gym, which I have experienced more than once.

I have been asked to a Valentine’s Day Ball, at another school, where I know no one except the person I have been asked by and their brother… Help? It’s considered pretty cool to be asked to another school’s ball, but I don’t know how cool it is to make an utter tosspot of yourself… I’m guessing not very.

Oh yes, and I haven’t mentioned the best part yet, as it is an Afrikaans school (I am in South Africa after all, it was bound to happen sometime,) I am going to have to do a traditional Afrikaans dance called the “Sokkie” or the “Langarm”, which means the “sock” or the “long arm”. Do not ask me why it is called that, because I am probably about as clueless as you are at this point.

Don't get me wrong, the guy who asked me is really sweet - it's just as well otherwise the folks wouldn't have let me go anyway. So I'm guessing it shouldn't be too hard.. he'll teach me.. right?

 The Sokkie is done with a partner, which lifts the chances of me making a fool of myself even higher, and is normally done with socks on or bare foot… Although I’m not sure we shall be taking our shoes of… You never know.  

The theme is “Casino” which is a pro on my list, (unlike the sokkie thing, which is a con) because how fun would that be? Imagine the possibilities, the dresses, the hair,  the SHOES… God, I’ve just realised I am SO like my mother.

And of course, what would I do without my bestest friend in the whole wide world – nicknamed Noodlez… Her advice is my rock, as you can see by the conversation we had via text last night:

Feel the Fire: I have officially been invited to the annual ---------- Valentine ’s Day ball of 2011.

Noodlez: Loser! Haha enjoy! Good luck, pucker up and so forth.

FTF: Thanks for the support you loser, on the bright side – I get to buy a new dress, shoes etc. My mom’s very excited *Rolls eyes*

Noodlez: Haha at least you can get pampered! Get your hair done and so forth so you can show all the Afrikaans girls up!

FTF: Fanks, for some reason that made me feel so much better.. And I’m not even being sarcastic, good job you psycho!

Noodlez: Haha, it’s what I do! What else are sexy BFF’s for if not for making  you feel better about going to a Afrikaans ball where you will know absolutely no one. I say snog them all, that’s what I would do..


Ahhh, yes, she really is wise. Not that I would ever take her advice in a million years.. but she can cheer you up, I’ll give her that.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Good day to you all.  (J)

If you are ever bored and looking for something pointless, random and utterly hilarious videos to watch, check out these rather stupid but very cute videos on YouTube… Go on, you know you want to…

Pat and Stan (A Hippo and a Dog)
Singing one of the all-time classics (drum roll)… The Lion Sleeps Tonight

He's mean, he's sarcastic, he's funny,  he's a mythical creature, he's the one... the only... Charlie The Unicorn!
Check out all three of his official videos here: 

Episode 1: Candy Mountain

Episode 2: The Banana King

Episode 3: Underwater Adventure
(My personal favorite) 

The most annoying fruit in history... well... the only annoying fruit in history.. Very funny: The Annoying Orange!
(Although it's not as funny as the previous ones in my opinion, it's still worth watching just for the fun of it.)

Haha, hope you enjoyed them. There'll be more to come later on in the year..

Comment and tell me what you think! 

And here is my newly founded motto: 

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Goals For This Year... Here We Go Again

Another quickie just to say hi and to make a few points:

Something I will never understand is why EVERY year we are asked to make a list of things we will be working towards this year. We spend five minutes writing them down, and they don’t even collect them when we’re all finished. What is the point?? And who’s to say we even have any goals or resolutions? What If we like the way we are?
So, I did a lot of thinking and here is my list of things I wish to achieve this year:
  • *      Steal the school lawn mower, wahahaha that would be awesome, it’s the size of a tractor so you would be able to drive it like you would drive a car.
  • *      Be able to play the CRAZY FROG (click on the picture above to view the song) on the piano. – It’s a legend song that deserves to be recognized for its true potential… on the piano. ;) 
  • *       Go at least three months without getting a migraine. – Yeah right.
  • *      Try not to delete my computer’s hard drive and half of the software content that it needs to boot up, again. – I've done it before; don’t ask me how because I have no clue…That’s the scary part.
  • *      Draw something that looks at least half relevant to what it was supposed to be, and not something stupid like a washing machine…(Read previous post) 

Now, THAT’S what I call ambition.

Of course, I had the sense to write something a little more sensible down on my actual piece, just in case they decided to collect them this time… which they didn’t. *Rolls Eyes*

My "I think I am coming down with a cold" has turned into a "I've got a full on 'I'm dying' cold". Which means I get a day or two of school, woopee! There IS light at the end of the tunnel! 

They said i was crazy.. but i knew!!... The only problem is I feel like crap, but hey, you can't have everything.

Well, that's basically all i have to say for myself. Until next time..

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How's This For a Laugh...

Just a quick post to say hi and to make sure nobody’s tripped over a brick (unfortunately I am talking from recent experience) or anything.

I would like to point out that I cannot draw to save my life, a fact that my art teacher doesn’t seem to understand. He also doesn’t seem to understand that I am more than willing to do any other activity that falls under the word “art”(eg. Acting, dancing, painting etc.) except drawing as I am utterly and completely useless at it, So the other day he gave us a task: to do a pencil sketch of anything we wish. Naturally I chose the easiest possible thing to draw, which would be the fountain outside of my house. It’s square with two holes in the middle, easy peasy.

This is about as far as my drawing talent spans.
 Now, let me tell you I spent AGES on that drawing, trying to make it all pretty-like, and when I handed it in this morning my oh-so sensitive teacher informs me that it looked like a washing machine on a bench… Charming, isn’t it? Aah well, he won’t be laughing so much when I actually CHOOSE to draw a washing machine - I'm rather scared to think about what he would think it is then…

Ok, I'm not going to say it's good, but anyone can see that it isn't a washing machine...

On a more serious note, I think I’m coming down with a cold (sniff sniff). When my friend’s mother’s aunt’s cousin’s gran (or something) heard about this she suggested that I smear mashed banana on my neck and chest, as it will allow some parts in my nose to ‘breath’. I politely informed her that it was very thoughtful of her to share her advice but there was no way in hell that I was smearing any form of fruit or vegetable on my chest or anywhere else, and that was that.

Anyway, let me get back to my homework and all that sad stuff. But before I go, I would like to enlighten thee with a very wise quote which I use regularly at least once a week: If you can’t convince them confuse them.--Harry s. Truman

Tee hee

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Back ta School... Already??

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, it doesn't feel like I have had a six week school holiday... actually, it feels like I have been dragged under a truck and strung up on a washing line to hang for 6 weeks.

But let me not be too cynical so early in the year, this is after all, (according to chinese astrology) the year of the Rabbit - which means this year is supposed to be lucky and bring good fortune, as Rabbits are lucky right? Or is it just their feet that are lucky?.. hmmm.. I'll have to ask the bio teacher about that one.

So let's see, I have the same old crappy classmates (most of them) and just different crappy teachers. I'm not going to lie (becuase lying is bad) and say that I am hating school already, but I will say that I am certainately not loving it either. I guess school and I have a love/hate relationship, and that's fine with me.

As usual we have already been given tons of homework so that means there's even less time for blogging, (tear) and I forgot to mention earlier that my biology teacher taught both my mom AND my dad when they were my age...! So, undoubtedly she had the grace to announce to the whole grade that she taught both my parents, and then told some crappy joke that she probably thought of when she was teaching back during the Ice Age (Har Har).

So... We start the second week of school on Monday, which means I have the rest of the weekend to sit and think that I really should be studying when I don't have the energy to... And I don't want to brag but just incase it didn't seem like it, I do rather well in school...I just hate it.

Until Next Time...

Monday, January 10, 2011

Feeling The Burn

Seeing as this is my second (and official) blog post, I thought it would be suitable (more or less) to cater for the less fortunate folk who might not understand why I named my blog, Feel The Burn!

I go to gym regularly, basically just to do some running on the track and the occasional boxing when I am feeling ambitious. So I'm sure most (bright) people would understand that when doing any form of excersise (no, i'm not talking about getting up and walking to the fridge) you can bet that you will be feeling a slightly sore and uncomfortable burn in your muscles, and it only gets worse as you struggle to complete the goal you, or someone else has set for you.
When at last you have completed your task, (or you've given up) your muscles are so tired that you probably do want to fall down and die - as it is said in my blog description.

This is how I see life, life throws a task or goal at you and you have to struggle and fight and work to achieve it. (How crappy is that?) You feel the burn "in your muscles" as you break down boundries and cages that life has set up for you.

Take This As An EXAMPLE

Like everyone else, I have had a fair amount of boundries set up for me. Now, I'm sure you don't care about my boundries but I'd like you to kindly take this as a rough example - so that you can't complain that I haven't explained the work properly,(Tee Hee)  Fanks.

1999 - Was held up outside the gate of my house with my dad.
2008 - Was held up in my house with my mom and my brother.
Lisa Ann Barton 1996 - 2009
2009 - Grandpa on my dad's side died.
         - Friend died of cancer.
2010 - Grandpa on my mom's side died.

Getting over these things was pretty hard, but no one said it would be easy, I felt the "burn" pretty badly those times - but hey, as my History teacher is renowned for saying, "Life's a bitch, get over it".

These few things mentioned in this post (including the part about gym) are the main reasons why i named my blog Feel The Burn!
Rather clever, don't you think? Yeah, it turns out smartasses can actually be, uh... smart? Fancy that.

I hope the midly confused and all round dimwits now understand why I named this blog what I did.

Until next time, take care - don't go running into any walls or something stupid.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Welcome: Just Don't Expect Much
From: Home // FTW! (For the Win!) // 15 Funny Welcome Mats
 Okay, I guess that isn't much of a welcome, but I couldn't resist choosing this picture for my first post... Rather funny don't you think?


I hope that within these lines you shall find thoughts and comments that are interesting and "ponder - worthy" if not entertaining and witty - ok, no promises on that last one as i am still just a little fishy in the big pond of writing and blogging, although i shall try my very bestest.

I will post regularly - but then the question would be, "how regularly?" to which i would answer "i have no clue."

From my profile you will see that I love writing (and cows) and so that is basically all you need to know. At the very least you should know that a streak of sarcasm runs through my writing style and my opinion is not vague - no matter how pointless the topic is. People of the more adult nature (teachers) have branded me a smartass, which i do not take as an insult, as smartasses' stories / blogs tend to be rather entertaining, at the very least.

So come in, agree, disagree, debate, don't debate, you are most welcome...

I'm waiting...